What kind of parent do you want to be?

Image of father leading his child along a dark wooded path.

Nobody aspires to failure as a parent

Nobody sets out to be a bad parent. Even those caught out by pregnancy expect to cope with being a parent with a little guidance and support. But some people do recognise that they did not have the benefit of good parenting as a child. They hope to achieve more for their own children. Today they can improve their personal preparation for being a parent with simple emotional intelligence training.

“Happy is the child with emotionally intelligent parents”

Over the years I have coached people who had childhoods marred by their parents or carers. I have known clients who were determined to remain childless to avoid passing on their DNA or to repeat the mistakes of their parents. Others make as point of keeping their children away from their families. These are tragic and sad conclusions from unfortunate childhoods.

But these are unusual. Most people look forward to being a parent, and are looking forward to doing their very best for their children.

New skills for new challenges

None of us are born with all the skills we need. The genius of human life is that we live in lots of different places, with a variety of living styles, and with unique and exciting hopes and dreams. The reason we can do this successfully is that we have culture.

Culture is a collection of learned values, beliefs, and behaviours. The cultures of our homelands are the strategies that enable us to live successfully in the place we come from.

That’s why cultures can vary so very much. Different locations and climates require widely different skills and habits. The skills to live in the frozen tundra of Asia that might not be sufficient to thrive in a busy city in the tropics.

Photo by Jeanette Atherton

Cultural differences in being a parent

Culture applies in the home too. Families pass on understanding, beliefs, and habits as well as DNA. This is especially true when it comes to raising children! Being a parent is very different around the world, and even within the same culture, parenting styles differ.

But life has changed in many ways, and people move from place to place. What worked in the past in one place may not prepare a child for a healthy and successful life in the 21st century. This is especially true if the culture comes from a place where values and habits are dramatically different from where they will be living. It can be a source of conflict in families to agree on the correct and appropriate way to raise the children.

What will never change in being a parent

Being a parent may look different in different places, but there are ways in which it never changes.

Being a good parent requires you to bring your A game on days when you are ready to call it a day. It needs endless patience, courage, and self-control. You to listen and endure when everyone you know gives you unsolicited advice, and tries to direct you in their preferred cultures. No wonder the most important parenting skills are personal skills, and nothing accelerates your learning like the steep learning curve of parenthood itself!

A mother holds her child

Being a parent requires time, energy, and dedication, but what children need most is to be loved – by parents with good personal skills!

How can we improve our chances as parents?

Most people have time to prepare for the arrival of a child. Buying, gathering or making the equipment, preparing the nursery, and reading up on what to do for the best are common behaviours. But how many of them think to prepare themselves to be a parent?

Learn to care for yourself. If you want to give yourself the best chance, then look at improving your self-care skills. Your child will be depending on you. You need to be well for them. Developing these skills will not only help in the future. Being relaxed and happy will help with your pregnancy too. And working on this with a partner is a good way to cement a relationship that is about to change quite a lot!

You need to prioritise. Decide what you cannot sacrifice, and what you can put to one side while you are rearing young children. Making a considered decision is much better than dropping the ball and feeling you have let yourself and others down. Don’t forget to put yourself and your partner (if you have one) on the list too. And remember that your workplace may be delighted to meet your new arrival, but they will not expect you to be less present for your job. Work with your manager to make adjustments that make things easier for you.

Focus on what you need

Try not to get swayed by advertising and influencers. Marketing aims to get you to buy as much as possible in the interests of manufacturers and retailers. It is not about the health, wealth or happiness of your family. Most people with experience know that half the junk you are going to buy will be stuffed in a cupboard in a few months anyway. Don’t be tempted to buy things you won’t really need.

Beware social media. Similarly social media is not about you and your wellbeing. There are many agendas in play online. While there are people who seek to help, there are just as many who are there to help themselves. . And if people feel the need to advise you (including me) listen kindly and feel free to ignore them if you choose to. Your gut will know who to listen to. Try to bear in mind that your child may not appreciate being smeared all over social media when they were very small. Use controlled groups to share images, and remember that people in the know take steps to protect their children’s privacy these days.

Avoid comparing yourself with others. There will always be people who have more than you, (or seem to have). Remember that there are also others for whom your life would seem ideal. Focus on yourselves, and on what works for you. Be smart and remember that your child will only care if they are hungry or comfortable. They won’t care where the cot came from or whether Little Jeremy has a better wardrobe.

Enjoy the experience

Accept and appreciate the experience. Many aspects of being a parent are challenging, and living without sleep is one of them. The first few weeks can feel like an interminable slog. But it is surprising how fast the time goes by. Try to remember to appreciate the opportunity to be a parent, and that it won’t last for ever.

Celebrate the small wins. It has never been easier to keep a record of your progress, and your child’s early years. Keeping photos, making a blog or journal, and recording video and voice notes, record the small wins. Not only does it give you the opportunity to get it off your chest, and protect yourself from stress, it helps you to see how far you have come, especially on the days when it all seems a bit hard.

The most important job in the world

Being a parent is the most important job in the world. No wonder there is so such pressure on parents to do it well. But if you are the parent, then you can choose. You can listen to the advice, but retain the right to have the final say.

If you are scared, uncertain, or feel unable to cope with things, seek help from expert voices or find a therapist. Get yourself well before if possible, or when you recognise problems of necessary. Your children deserve for you to avoid acting out your difficulties on them.

If you just want to some new skills to stick up for yourself, manage your own feelings effectively, and learn to be the emotional expert your child needs, then look out for some preparatory personal training. This is not therapy, it is skills training to brush up you emotional intelligence skills and help you understand the needs of your baby (or tame your teen!)

You are going to face some of life’s greatest challenges. It pays to get yourself match fit before the game begins!

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Learning to Learn – the challenge of the 21st century

Learning online
Learning online is the new way of continuing your education.

“Learning to learn is not a new challenge! Being an independent learner has always been the aim of good education!”

Yes, I agree, but I would argue that it has never been more important than it is now. People who cannot learn and change in response to the ever-moving demands of technology are falling behind in the competitive world of the 21st century.

The demand for constant change

The speed with which technology has changed the world is breath taking. Many of us who are still working remember a time when computers were only to be found in large organisations. The idea that we might be walking around with one in our pocket or on our wrist was the stuff of science fiction. We have been transformed by the internet, and we no sooner learn one new skill than it changes and requires updating or replacing. This is why it matters for us all to learn how to develop knowledge, think ahead, and be ready to relearn as well as we possibly can.

As adults we do not have teachers around to help us. The aim of Campbell Education is to bring leaning to adults to help them: not by teaching them subjects or preparing them for examinations, but showing them how to be a learner!

TPT training online
Confidential online training

The Campbell Education website is full of learning resources to help adults to develop their knowledge and skills and become a self-driven super-learner!

Free materials for learning

Campbell Education has been developing the range of free materials, and will soon be offering paid online-courses in addition to the training and coaching already available from me. If you are looking for free materials you can track them down in two places. Links are provided here to help you access them easily.

The Library

Campbell Education is a little bit like a college. In the Library you will find documents and learning materials that talk about a range of aspects of education and learning. Do you want to know what the philosophy of Campbell Education is? You will find it in the essays and in literature there; materials that define and outline particular aspects of learning. These are always in development, so it is worth keeping an eye on the reading lists.

The Learning Zone

Things have changed at Campbell Education, and one of the biggest changes is the movement from a document based enrolment to an automated system. The beauty of the new system is that it allows people to buy goods ands services immediately. That means no more waiting for enrolment numbers and passwords. Anyone can now access the learning Zone and take advantage of the materials there.

There is still a password protected student zone for coaching clients to access support when they wish to, but other than that, all areas are now open!

There are three main rooms:

Widening access to learning

As new materials come online they will include a range of paid on-line courses which are also in development. Learners will be able to buy them, online books and physical workbooks through the Learning Zone.

They can already book live training and coaching with me there, and the new system makes this easier than ever before. Whether you are looking for free guidance, a paid course or learning materials, or a live face to face with me online – there will be something there to get you thinking and push the boundaries for you. Why not give it a try?

Helen M Campbell MBPsS
Helen M Campbell. MBPsS

The only thing you really cannot afford to do is fail to invest time and effort in yourself and your skills. Not just because learning to enjoy learning is one of the most powerful ways to improve the quality and standard of your life there is. The option is to grow redundant before you are ready to hang up your tools.

And you never know – you might quite like it!

Helen Campbell. April 2022.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Learning to learn is a lifelong journey.

Lifelong Learning has never been more necessary

Only children believe that learning stops when you leave school. Adults recognise that being able to learn new things and update our skills fast is an essential part of modern life. The only thing that stops when you leave school is easy access to a range of professional people whose purpose in life is to help you learn.

Adult learners have to learn to learn independently. This means knowing how adult learning happens, and being your own teacher.

Learning to learn with Campbell Education

Campbell Education is extending the range of learning materials available for visiting and enrolled learners. Free, open access materials are located in the Library, and enrolled learners will have access to The Learning Zone, where free and paid materials, courses and coaching will be available.

New materials are coming online every week, so keep a note of the name, and make sure you develop into a skilful and efficient independent learner!

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

The Art of Being Human (and Happy)

The Art of Being: I don’t care how you get there – get there if you can!

Image presenting life as a learning challenge.
Learning is a lifelong challenge

It can take a lifetime to learn the art of being a whole and happy person. Taking short cuts with education, training and coaching is not cheating – it’s smart!

There are people who love formal leaning, people who don’t, and people who don’t seem to fit in anywhere. Fortunately we learn the Art of Being a human being in the University of Life, but there are other places to learn too. And sometimes the most unusual lessons can be learned in the most unusual places. When it comes to being human, the university janitor can be as informed as the chancellor! There is no limit to the learning, so there is no limit to who can be teacher either.

Help and advice in growing up

Growing up is not just the responsibility of the young. Life’s harder lessons come much later in life – some of the hardest of all right near the end. We continue to develop knowledge, understanding and skills while we still have the ability. Growing up is the process of learning the Art of Being, and lasts from cradle to grave. Choosing who to listen to is one of the big challenges we face.

As children the world is full of people telling us what to do, how to do it, and (hopefully) why to do it. They also let us know whether we have achieved the goal! As we become more independent we select our own influencers. Celebrities, peers and significant others may be more alluring than listening to Grandma. She often seems out of touch and doesn’t really understand.

Of course Grandmas usually understand all too well. As we mature we see that the confident dismissals of youth come from blissful ignorance. Each of us goes through this process of revelation. Each must gain this understanding to benefit from the experiences of others. The alternative is to learn everything the hard way! Every event is an opportunity for learning. Allowing others to share their hard-won knowledge with us is a privilege we should be grateful for.

Learning, unlearning and relearning the things we need to know

Humans have succeeded in spreading across the globe by developing adaptable cultures. You can find spiders everywhere in the world too, but only those suited to particular environments. Humans have learned to live everywhere – even in space – by learning to adapt and teach one another to survive.

Human evolution has therefore come to include cultural evolution. We change our culture (our acquired habits of living) at breakneck speed compared to the slow pace of biological evolution. Our ability to change and adapt (which we know as intelligence) marks us as different from other animals. We don’t know what it is like to be them, but they probably never think about what it is like to be us. They are not wired to do so the way we are – because we humans are learning machines!

Having said that – I don’t think my cats ever worried too much about their credit rating or their online profile. There are probably advantages to keeping it simple. You won’t find Oliver worrying about his tax return.

Look at life philosophically – like Oliver

The Art of Being involves finding a balance

We can all appreciate spending time just being human. For some of us that means family time or hanging out with friends, while others enjoy games or more solitary hobbies. Achieving a healthy pattern of exercising, eating and sleeping is a vital part of this too. Downtime, playtime, or quality time, however you conceive of it, is important for our health and wellbeing. It allows us to rest and process the world in alternative ways, and to recharge our creative batteries. (If you want some pointers on that – just ask Oliver – he could teach us humans a thing or two!)

But not everyone is good at achieving downtime. Some people are so driven they can only switch off if they leave home and go on holiday -and they won’t be leaving their phone behind. In the modern world your boss could still call you if you were in orbit around the planet! Not good for health or wellbeing. Learning to set boundaries to protect your you-time is an essential skill to learn.

The Art if Being With Intent

Finding a balance between living in the moment, living for the future and living for others is a critical skill of The Art of Being.

Other people can struggle to step up to the mark. At some point we all need to put our toys aside and apply ourselves with intent. There is thinking to do, things to learn, goals to set and plans to make. Work must be done and money earned if we are to develop into productive and satisfied members of society. And people are depending on us to do this – cat biscuits don’t grow on trees you know!

We may like the idea of living the good life, with only pleasure and fun in mind, but the reality is far from satisfactory. A life lived in that way is boring. Having nothing meaningful to do is soul destroying. Real satisfaction comes from having a dream and making it real, not from consuming products created by people more successful than ourselves.

The Humane Being – us at our absolute best!

In everyone’s life there are times when we face particularly difficult challenges. We have to learn to step up again; to find our very best self. We may be required to make real sacrifices for very good reasons. We all have to learn to put our own desires – and even our health and safety at times – in the service of other people. This often demands us to mange ourselves with great emotional restraint or self discipline. While situations like this can be formative in developing our mature characters, don’t underestimate the value in learning some really useful skills in advance!

I often compare managing emotions to managing a water hose. Anyone can cope with an empty hose, when it is full of water it can be heavy and hard to carry, but once you let it open under pressure it can be like fighting a wild animal! I strongly recommend learning emotional skills in advance of needing them.

Firstly you don’t want to be learning to use a hose when your house is on fire, you need to have those skills immediately! Secondly, learning under controlled conditions is much easier and more precise than learning in extreme conditions. Thirdly, trying to live happily while dragging a hose full of heavy emotions behind you is a waste. Sort out your baggage and get on with enjoying life. Prevention is always better than cure!

Finding a balance is always the key

Whatever stage you are in on your life journey, today will bring you something new; the worst thing you can do is to fail to notice it. Intelligence is the ability to recognise what is going on and to find ways to deal with it successfully and sustainably, so wandering through life without noticing things is not the best way to go.

That doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to do something about what you notice beyond thinking about it a little and considering what the implications might be. If you can do that sitting next to the pool with a Mai Tai so much the better, but you may need to apply yourself with more intention.

If the occurrence is a significant one you may well need to do some research, find out why it happened and what it means for you and take steps to control the situation. You may need to adapt to accommodate or remove the situation from your future. One thing is sure – ignoring a real problem never made it go away – but it often gives it time to establish itself comfortably!

The Art of Being Brave

If it is a serious threat you may need to put your own concerns aside. This is where we put on our big boy trousers and and take out our more responsible and socially aware priorities. Your plans may come second to the need to contain and resolve a threat to others as well as yourself. In fact as a responsible person, your own wellbeing can often be pushed aside. This is why learning to be well is so important. When people are relying on you – you have a duty to take care of yourself. You need to be strong enough to bear that responsibility. Good luck if you are dealing with that kind of challenge today; be your most humane and courageous self!

Invest in your own Art of Being

A life lived without understanding and intention can be something of a wasteland. If you can manage your feelings and think well – then life is a gift!

Why not spend some time today thinking about how you are spending your time? Are you Being with your best intention? Are you spending a little too much – or too little time – just being human? Or are you coping with challenges that are testing you and forcing you to adapt to survive? Whatever you discover, remember that in the art of being you are creating your own Self. If you want to live a life that brings you satisfaction and joy, you must invest time, effort and thought in making it that way.

If you want to get to appreciate life as a gift (while you are still young enough to enjoy it) be prepared to learn from others. They may just know the answers to your problems already. If you don’t invest your time in sharing with them, then they cannot invest their wisdom in you!

Inside every mature person is the child they used to be.  An image showing a photograph being taken of an older woman, which shows her as an infant.
What you see isn’t all of the story!

Visit the Campbell Education Library for free learning materials and modular courses in aspects of growth and self development in The Art of Being.

You can also find relevant content in my profile on LinkedIn.

Images courtesy of Pixabay.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Being your best self starts with emotional control

Becoming your best self has become a goal for lots of people; social media is full of people who seem to be doing just that. But do photos, videos and posts really reflect our true selves? Is putting on a good camera face, and claiming social and economic success, a sign that we are winning? When the ring light goes off, are we confident that we are really living the dream?

Living the Dream?

Being your best self – winning at life!

Confidence is something we create inside ourselves. It is difficult to describe, but when we have it everyone can tell. Confidence is a feeling of positivity that radiates from us. It is quiet and calm and attractive in all kinds of ways to all kinds of people. Confidence creates an invisible halo of success around us that helps us hold our own in social situations. We all enjoy the feeling of confidence. It comes from knowing that we are good enough, and trusting that we can cope with whatever life might throw at us.

That feeling comes from knowing who we are, valuing ourselves, and trusting ourselves and our skills. Can anyone who cannot do those things really be said to be winning at life?

Fake it until you make it – are you winning yet?

Most people fake it to some extent, I have myself, but I can assure you that faking it is not confidence. And faking it doesn’t get you a place on the winners podium. People do manage to get by from day to day with a façade of success. But they will not have the resources to cope with challenges and problems when they come. If you want to grow strong and confident, you have to do it from the inside. The sooner you start, the sooner you will start to feel better about things.

Know yourself – how else can you be your best self?

First and foremost you need to be honest with yourself, and get to know yourself. For some people that means spending a great deal of time alone, or travelling the world, or going on a retreat. For others it means finding someone to help you ask yourself the right questions. Investing in coaching may seem like a waste of money for some, but it is probably cheaper than travelling the world or going on a retreat, and can take much less time! Spending a great deal of time alone with your thoughts is the cheapest option, but it may not get you very far. There are plenty of self help books to provide you with ideas if you choose to try this approach.

Know your objective – emotions are made on the inside

One thing I can assure you is that achieving any kind of success will depend on learning to manage your emotions. People who are able to deal with their emotional reactions can cope more effectively. Their emotional control gives them more control of the situation. Things don’t phase them too much, and they understand how people’s feelings need to be taken into account. They value emotional wellbeing, and invest in making sure that things are done with other people’s feelings in mind. Emotionally intelligent people are less likely to do things that backfire or hurt people’s feelings by mistake. Emotional intelligence skills are essential life skills.

Getting emotions wrong is painful for everybody

People who do not learn emotional control are vulnerable. They walk through life like intemperate children, and are buffeted by every wind that blows. They may believe they have confidence, but it is probably because they don’t understand the true situation. Confidence is an emotional state. It is based on our assessment of the environment and our ability to manage it successfully. If a person with no emotional skills believes in their ability to cope it is a form naivete or self deceit. Their façade of confidence is likely to crumble when trouble calls.

Most difficult of all, people with limited emotional skills are hard to be around. They may use all kinds of difficult behaviours to hide from their feelings. Many drown them out with substances that lead to problems, while telling themselves they are having fun. Like over-grown children, people with limited emotional intelligence cannot be trusted with responsibility or cope with difficulties, and they can easily wound people around them. Choose your company with care.

Learning emotional control is everyone’s responsibility

People learn emotional control in lots of ways. Our first experiences come from our families. We develop understanding and skills from friends, teachers and other significant people in our lives. We also learn from literature, the arts, films and TV; learning from our own experiences, and from those of others. Our learning journey lasts for as long as life allows.

One of the fastest ways to learn specific skills is in training or coaching. A coach knows what you need to know, and how to teach it to you easily and quickly. You could spend a lifetime experiencing things without coming across some of the simple and vitally important skills that make life manageable and enjoyable. Emotional Intelligence training and coaching is now available from a growing number of suppliers, but check them out before you invest. Good intentions do not guarantee good outcomes, and you are best using a professional with qualifications and professional accreditation.

Confidence is not a ring light

Confidence is a light that shines from the inside. It shines when you realising that you are good enough, and trusting yourself. Being your best self can be as simple as knowing and accepting yourself, and believing that you are as good as anyone else, and can cope with things just as well as they can.

It doesn’t really matter what other people think about you, it matters what you think about yourself.

By Helen Campbell

Visit the Library at Campbell Education for more information on emotional intelligence and emotional skills training and coaching.

Photo by Fábio Lucas from Pexels

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Staff training in Emotional Intelligence Skills

Staff Training in emotional skills

Staff training in emotional skills – not just for the sales team!

People who have emotional self-regulation skills are able to manage themselves well under pressure. They are resilient, fast learners who can adapt quickly, and they work well in teams. Businesses have quickly realised that emotional skills training is a powerful way to equip sales people to increase performance. Emotional intelligence is also important in customer service and resolution settings, so they get support too. These days the importance of EI in all areas of business is making emotional skills training for staff a popular choice. This is because psychology shows that being able to manage emotional events is essential in life. It is the difference between success and failure in business. Team building that empowers people to share and learn emotional intelligence skills together is a complete game changer, and it has never been easier to learn.

Emotional Intelligence Training – win – win – win

There are no downsides to learning how to understand and control what happens in your body. Emotionally intelligent people are;

  • competent, resilient, fast learners and good communicators
  • enjoy better health and wellbeing in every way that matters
  • they understand themselves and other people and can work with them in ways that are accepting, creative and sustainable
  • recognise interpersonal problems before they happen
  • take sensible and supportive actions to avoid crises, deal with practical issues and support their team while they get through the problem
  • understand people at a deep level and know how they will be impacted by events and systems
  • Customers will ask for them by name, trust them to help, and will develop loyalty to them

Staff training in emotional skills – What’s not to like?

Staff may have been working together for some time, but still have few points of interest in common. One thing they probably do have in common is that they have never been introduced to emotional intelligence training; very few people have. The idea may be a little daunting for some, but for younger people it is less unusual. The idea of investing in wellbeing is popular since the pandemic forced us to acknowledge that mental and emotional health matters too. Choosing to invest in training that enhances your staff’s emotional wellbeing, while building a sense of shared experience and trust, is a great option.

Emotional skills training – Why does it matter?

Poor EI skills are a source of serious problems in businesses, and in all organisations that rely on human relationships. People with poorly developed emotional skills are:-

  • insensitive to what is going on around them, they miss what others pick up on
  • emotionally reactive, they over-react to small things and make a fuss
  • easily stressed and anxious
  • can shut down or go into defensive or aggressive modes when challenged
  • have poor personnel management skills
  • have little understanding of the impact of their behaviour or decisions on others
  • are rigid, inflexible and slow to learn from experience
  • will be the bullies or the bullied

A surprisingly small number of simple, technical skills form the foundations of emotional intelligence. Helen Campbell teaches these skills in a simple, technical way in live workshops and online. Training has been designed with men in mind, but anyone who is able to function normally from day to day can do well. Everyone wins when everyone is skilful in energy management.

Staff training – Building emotionally intelligent culture

Team or group training provides a common understanding, a shared language, and a set of skills and techniques that can be applied usefully in the working environment. Staff training in emotional intelligence is active, it is experiential learning, not bookwork or slides. Staff will be helping one another learn and practice intelligence skills. The material is interesting and the learning enjoyable. It works fast and is powerfully helpful. Once they have learned together and understand how energy shapes the daily life of the team, they will soon see that it is in everyone’s interests to do it well. This is the definition of emotionally intelligent culture.

Emotional skills training – Want to know more?

The Library on the Campbell Education website is a source of free information on emotional intelligence the Campbell Education way. Be warned, it is not the usual approach, and staff training for emotional intelligence skills is no exception. Helen Campbell has been studying and training in EI skills for over twenty years. Her work is based on her own research, and you won’t find her skills and techniques anywhere else.

To talk with Helen Campbell in person

If you are looking for ways to build staff confidence, rebuild scattered teams and develop a more comfortable, productive and flexible culture, speaking to Helen may the the first step you can take.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Executive Emotional Intelligence Coaching

Blackboard message that EQ equals success!

It’s tough at the top.

Being in business can be lonely and difficult. Coaching in emotional intelligence is the fastest way to develop the key skills that make you a good manager. But knowing who to trust and rely on can be a problem. That’s why having someone on your side who can be trusted to listen, offer insight and help develop strategy that works with real people is a valuable resource.

Good EI helps because it reduces stress and tackles anxiety at source. More than that, it helps you learn fast from experiences, and create solutions that really work with real people. Working with Helen Campbell is not about tailoring your business processes, increasing your bottom line or future proofing your business. It is about learning some of the most important skills you need for successful adult life. The fact that operating in an emotionally intelligent way can help tailor your business processes, increase your bottom line and future proof your business is a bonus.

Exploring the role of Emotion in the workplace

Helen M Campbell MBPsS  Emotional Intelligence coach and trainer
Helen M Campbell MBPsS Emotional Intelligence coach and trainer

Helen Campbell introduces you to yourself, your mind and body, and shows you how to get the very best out of yourself. She has been helping clients develop the subtle skills of emotional intelligence for over twenty years. The flexible services she offers can allow you to learn and develop these skills at whatever level of management you currently work at. Since EI is known to be the most important factor in achieving promotion, the sooner you can learn the better.

For most people the workplace is not where they would expect to show emotion. After all, business is all about heads and thinking, not about hearts and happiness. Emotion is usually perceived as a problem at work rather than an asset. This is to completely misunderstand what emotion is. Emotion is energy in motion. It is the motivational force that drives all human endeavour. Emotional intelligence coaching gives you the ability to understand and use this energy well.

Putting emotional intelligence coaching into the workplace

Emotional Intelligence coaching is more akin to engineering and technology than to hearts and flowers. The aim is to avoid problems before they occur, and empower people to recognise and tackle issues in a practical way together. The objective is to create free flowing and focused energy for work. The bonus is that all of this feels great! An organisation that operates with confidence and passion can beat any that operates on pure systems. More to the point, an organisation that fails to understand that humans are emotionally driven, diverse and reactive ‘units’ will soon run into difficulties. People are not machines, they are complex and vulnerable. That’s why emotional intelligence really helps, because it develops resistance and adaptability, and helps people to be their best selves.

Emotional intelligence coaching for creating skilful managers

People do not leave jobs, they leave managers. Low productivity, poor staff relations, absenteeism, problem sickness rates and attrition are all the fruits of poor emotional skills in both managers and employees. Failing to understand this, to act to solve problems, and to develop a great human environment, are all liabilities in the 21st century. People will no longer accept abusive employment, and the law is on their side. Social media also means that your reputation as an employer is at risk. Valuable potential employees can soon check out your record as an employer on social networks. Emotional intelligence coaching teaches you to understand how people are affected by events, and gives you the skills to correct problems. You can then unleash the abilities of your staff and win the confidence and loyalty that, if you could bottle it, would smell of money.

Learn to see the energy that powers your business

Emotional Intelligence Coaching always starts with yourself; you learn to be a skilled emotional operator. Guided by your coach you will develop a range of emotional skills and techniques that turn you from a learner driver into a racing driver. You will enjoy feelings of empowerment and confidence that few people get to enjoy, because being in control of yourself is the best form of power there is. The confidence that exudes from a person who is in control is palpable, and if you could buy it you would pay top dollar to get it. And yet confidence is free, you create it in your own mind, and emotionally intelligent people are the ones who know how.

From there you will develop the ability to read the emotions of others. Reading a room in this way can bring startling clarity to human relationships, and being able to maintain personal control means that you can rise above petty politics and keep an even keel. The person in control of the emotion in a room controls the room; a powerful skill for all managers. The more you understand how emotions work, the easier it will be to help those around you manage theirs. You will find that people around you quickly notice your self control and grow to treat you with respect and trust.

Creating the right environment for productive work

Human functioning is enhanced by an environment that makes them feel safe, accepted and valued. If they are facilitated to work in problem solving teams that respect and value their contributions people can achieve incredible things. If you want to destroy their productivity, squash their creativity and crush their spirit, just putting them in a position of threat with a bully in charge is the answer. Bullying is what people do who have not developed emotional intelligence. That may mean stepping between them and outside influences, or interpreting external demands to work intelligently with your team. If you want to see your staff flower into their best selves, give them an emotionally informed and intelligent environment and see what they can do!

Emotionally intelligent culture – what is that?

Emotionally intelligent culture is a style of living and working. It accepts and understands humans as being driven by emotions to achieve the goals that reflect their values. The emotionally intelligent manager creates a workplace where staff feel safe, accepted and valued, and are trusted to do good work with good support. Anyone who has a favourite memory of a workplace will recognise some of these factors as having being there. Most of us have experienced jobs where they have been absent. If managers are going to create turbo powered learning and working environments they need to know why they work, and how they work. That is what emotional intelligence coaching is all about.

If you are wondering whether emotionally intelligent business is worth the investment, you have missed the revolution. Emotionally intelligent business is the future. Check out the business literature for the evidence. Emotional intelligence is surprisingly simple. It can be developed very quickly with the right guidance, and there is no downside to being skilled and competent as a human being.

Creating an emotionally intelligent machine at work

It’s a whole organisation thing. Creating an oasis of calm and productivity in a larger organisation can create problems in itself. The political demon is always on the move, looking for an opportunity to stir up trouble. There are people in every organisation who will generate conflict for their own purposes. Competition between managers can lead to immature and damaging warfare that helps nobody. Emotional Intelligence offers a means to understand and manage the drivers of this behaviour, not by force, but through learning.

To fully enhance the creativity of your business EI must not be an empty chair that people tip their hats to. Asking management to create a productive and EI powered environment, while raining them with demands and threatening emails, is a total waste of time. That is why emotional intelligence should be introduced to a company in stages. Education and skill development starts at the top and cascades. What you are offering is a new way of understanding human activity. Unlocking the learning and productivity of your staff, and starting with personal learning, are the keys to success.

Being happy and healthy beats stress and anxiety!

People with good EI do not suffer stress and anxiety, or hide from painful truths. They are consistent, creative and have a problem solving orientation. Mental and emotional health and wellbeing mean fewer sick days and greater productivity at work. They have the skills to work with other people skilfully and empathically. When managers have developed these skills, either in coaching or in group training, they are ready to encourage and empower their staff in the same way. Teams work effectively and supportively, and will be loyal to one another and the business. There are no down sides to emotional intelligence, and many common problems will simply be resolved as they arise.

Getting started in emotional Intelligence coaching

If you want to know more about emotional training and coaching before committing to executive coaching, you can start off with a basic training course. You can choose between courses in technical performance skills or emotional health based training. In three hours you can kick start your learning in personal skills, and quickly understand how these skills, or the lack of them, impact on your workplace. To discuss any aspect of training or coaching, and identify whether a health approach or a technical performance approach is better for you, just contact Helen through the web page. She can introduce you to the world of human emotions in a Zoom discovery call. It may be the best call you ever made.

Go to the Office for more information

Book a Zoom Discovery Call with Helen

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Surviving Bullying! Short term coaching course for the victims of bullying

Help! I think I am being bullied!

Children believe that bullying ends when you leave school – but adults know better. We all know people who have been bullied. Many of us have experienced adult bullying ourselves. Unlike school, adults rarely have a trusted teacher to turn to for help.

It can be a shock when it starts to happen to us! It takes a while to realise that we have been picked out for special treatment by a bully. Could you tell if it was happening to you?

Anyone can be a victim of bullying

Bullying behaviour is complicated and infinitely variable. Like the Hydra, you can cut off one opportunity for bullying, just to see two new ones develop! Many companies feel powerless to intervene, so employees with very real complaints find themselves coping alone. Few people work in an environment where bullying is tackled before things get out of hand.

People likely to be targeted by bullies are the ones least equipped to deal with it. Bullies are experts at identifying who can stick up for themselves, who can be undermined, and who can be dominated. Many factors cause and maintain bullying, but the one that really matters is how potential victims react to challenge. Bullying can be physical, mental or practical, but essentially it works by causing emotional damage. Bullies are emotional terrorists. They gain control through the domination of vulnerable individuals. People who cope with challenge well are less likely to be bullied.

It’s not the fault of the victim!

If you find yourself being bullied, it is not your fault!

People who blame victims for being ‘oversensitive’ and ‘making a fuss’ are wrong. Laying blame is pointless and unhelpful. Support and assistance in dealing with the problem are what is needed. Victims require reassurance and help. An intervention with the bully is the only real and lasting solution. Realistically this is rare, and people being victimised find themselves coping alone.

Surviving Bullying – a problem focused coaching course

The Surviving Bullying course was developed for individuals in this situation . The course quickly develops understanding, skills and strategies to deal with the problem. Three hours of face to face coaching withHelen Campbell, an experienced emotional intelligence coach, can really help. Clients learn a range of skills that underpin emotional intelligence. These skills give them the ability to take back control. They will work with Helen to develop strategies to stay safe, limit damage, care for themselves and make changes that put them in a better situation.

Clients are in a better position afterwards than they were before the event. They are motivated to find a better role, or on occasion, the way they dealt with the issue was recognised and rewarded by their employers. Sadly they usually move away from their current role, but most clients come out of the process stronger, wiser, and with the skills to ensure that this never happens to them again.

Accessing help

Information on Surviving Bullying and application forms are available here on the Campbell Education website. The cost of the three hour coaching package at the time of publication is £300 (May 2021). Clients must be accepted and registered prior to booking. Applicants may have to wait, but bullying applicants take priority and urgent cases should contact the office for guidance.

Emotional Intelligence and emotional coping skills – the secret to resisting bullying

Bullies are not emotionally intelligent – but they do have the animal ability to identify emotional pain. They react with visceral satisfaction when they cause it. Bullies use the threat of victimisation to control the people around them. Observers are often too scared of being the next victim to object. The more ingrained the pattern becomes, the worse the abuses become. Nobody deserves to be exposed to this and it does not generate profitable business.

Bullies are not concerned by the negative consequences of what they do. If you want to change their behaviour, you have to change the outcomes. You need to be more emotionally intelligent than they are.

Make a difference

Bullying can affect us all, even if we are not the one in the firing line. If you want to learn, the Surviving Bullying course can help you too. It teaches a range of skills that can transform your understanding of the emotional world. These are the foundations of emotional intelligence; the difference between success and failure in many areas of life. Having them in your toolkit can only help in your working career and in your private life. With your sophisticated understanding of bullying, anyone who tries to make you a victim will be disappointed.

Anyone considering a career in management will gain from undertaking coaching. Surviving Bullying can be used for CPD and funded by an employer without fear of breaching your privacy; all coaching is confidential.

The price of failure

Deep, personal wounds caused by bullying last a lifetime, but personal suffering is not the only damage done. Bullying at work shuts down individuals who are victimised. It can also affect an entire department. People living with bullying struggle to think, feel, perceive and understand. Their learning, problem solving and creativity are impaired. Social cohesion and team working are damaged. Disaffection, loss of trust and disengagement soon follow. Unresolved bullying is one of the most common reasons that people leave their jobs. It can lead to serious mental health issues and ultimately, to suicide. There are no winners, but the cost of failure is simply too high to ignore.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Emotional Skills Training for Work

The Campbell Education banner for Emotional Skills training for work

Emotional skills training for work? You have been learning skills since you were born and most of us have enough to get us through the day. Do we need more training?

Sadly, some people grow up in circumstances that don’t help them learn many skills. People who develop good skills enjoy huge advantages, so it makes sense to keep learning as we grow more experienced.

As awareness of emotional intelligence grows, research is revealing its importance. Your EI skills are more important in your chance of succeeding in your career than any other factor. If you want a responsible or demanding career, or to work in an industry that keeps you on your toes, then good EI skills are a must. The good news it that you can continue to learn new skills throughout life. What’s more, our increasing understanding of neuro-psychology is making it easier to learn!

Learning by doing – the best way to learn emotional skills.

An increasing number of self-help books teach emotional skills. For people who love reading books, and thinking deeply about what they read, that is a great way to learn. But if it was that easy to learn from a book, we would all know everything we needed by now. We are not all great book learners, and everyone is different in their background and experience; one size does not fit all. Emotional skills training for work can be a game changer.

Learning EI skills is not difficult, but it happens inside you, not in the pages of a book. While it seems easy when you have been shown how it works, not being familiar with your inner world means that learning on your own can be hit-and-miss. You can read about driving a car, but you learn to drive in a car with an experienced teacher beside you. This is an experienced professional who shows you how to drive the car; you learn from their experience.

Emotional skills training with Campbell Education is just like that, it is more akin to driving lessons than anything else, in fact, the first session in technical performance training is actually called Driver Training. You learn by doing, and your coach shows you how to do it.

Basic Level TPT – the emotional toolkit you need for work

Technical Performance Training (TPT for short) provides emotional skills training developed specifically for work. A single hour of live online training can change the way you understand and manage your emotional life. Driver Training puts you in control of your emotional engine.

A Basic course (3 hours of live training online) provides you with enough skills to manage yourself and take care of yourself in a demanding social environment. Just those three sessions can ensure that your emotions are not a problem for yourself – or for others. It shows how emotions shape your feelings and motivate you. You begin to see how they shape the world around us. Good basic skills put us in a strong position to manage and improve the social exchanges we take part in every day.

TPT training may be designed for work, but the skills are transferrable to every area of life; if you are trained on behalf of your employer it is probably the most useful work based training you will ever get.

Why do people need to learn this? Emotions don’t belong at work.

Humans and their emotions are inseparable. Emotion is – literally – the energy that moves you, the juice in your engine, the pep in your pepper. Denying, suppressing, ignoring or avoiding this aspect of life is not only damaging for health, happiness and wellbeing. A poor emotional environment impairs learning, suppresses creativity, hampers social cooperation and limits productivity at work.

Culture has changed. While older generations are still operating under the buttoned-down, nothing-to-see-here regime of the past, the young are not. The younger generations are tuning in to authenticity and social responsiveness. In this business environment emotional intelligence is king; so ignore it at your peril.

Emotional intelligence is essential for learning from experience. No modern workplace is static. Learning, unlearning and relearning are constant processes in the working environment. This cannot happen in a fearful or constrained environment. Good EI skills accelerate learning and free creativity in ways that go way beyond the mundane concerns of achieving mental and emotional wellbeing. Emotional skills training for work can bring the skills you need, and it doesn’t take a lifetime to learn them!

If you want to unstick your culture, your systems or your communications, you need to unstick your staff. If you want to do that – you need to unstick their emotional skills.

How can I find out more about emotional intelligence training?

The Campbell Education website has a Library of free material and course information for you to find out more about emotional intelligence, emotional health and wellbeing, emotional culture and emotional skills training.

If you want to meet Helen Campbell to ask her in person on a Zoom call you can easily do so. You can book a free place on a Wednesday evening Q&A at 7pm London time with your query. You can also book a personal discovery call with her on her scheduler. If you send her an email via the office it will be answered as quickly as possible. If you want to explore her profile on LinkedIn you will find a wealth of information and can message her through her inbox. This can be faster than relying on email.

Is it worth paying for emotional skills training when information is so easily available?

One of the things that clients and research participants say more than anything is how surprised they are. Why have they not been taught these things before? The information is out there, but the training has not been available. Learning is easy, powerful and the benefits are immediate in training, which is not the case when you are learning by trial and error. Training is life changing, empowering and wholly beneficial.

Money is an issue for some people, and as ever, they will set their spending priorities accordingly. No client or participant who has been asked (and we do ask) has ever considered the price to be more than the value of the service. In many cases coaching clients say that the value is beyond price, the cost is no longer a consideration.

For those in public service there is a reduced tariff to thank and support our vital services. Full information on services and prices, and the current Preferred Professions list, is easily available on the website.

What are my options in learning emotional intelligence?

If you want a fast introduction you can book a single hour of emotional skills training for work called Driver Training. This will show you how to stay in control in the moment. If you want a grounding in the skills you need for work, a three-hour Basic TPT Course will provide them. Basic TPT includes Driver Training. Anyone who has done the first session can pay the top-up fee and continue. If you loved your skills training,advanced coaching is available for approved clients.

People who wish to develop more deeply can opt for Personal Development or Executive Coaching rather than training. This is a more personal service which focuses on the client’s life and issues. It is a good choice for developing the soft skills that contribute to excellent staff management. It delivers the same skills as emotional skills training for work, and more. As a private and confidential listening ear, coaching is a good choice for managers. Working in a competitive and stressful environment can result in wear and tear and requires complex skills. Coaching is a great place to explore what is happening at work and learn the skills that make you more effective.

Emotional Intelligence is good for you!

Emotional skills training for work is valuable because good basic EI helps you to beat stress and anxiety from the inside out. People with good skills are sensitive to the emotional atmosphere around them. They are self-supporting, and not subject to anxiety and stress that affects those who cannot self regulate. Their skills make them careful of the needs of others. This means they are alert to toxic behaviours that negatively affect the workplace. Emotionally Intelligent people do not bully, because they know why it is not a useful strategy at work. These are all essential skills in management positions.

Some people are more interested in developing emotional health and wellbeing. Emotional Health Training (EHT) with Campbell education is more suitable for their needs. For advice on which of these is most suitable for you, get in touch. It could be the most useful question you ever ask.

Book a Discovery Call here

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©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.