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Two-Dimensional Emotions (2DE)

The most important decision  you will ever make is when you decide to be happy.

This means deciding to be well and to make a good life for yourself. 

It is not a new idea. As Irvine Welsh said in his Scottish novel, Trainspotting, there are times when you have to choose life over death.

And sometimes it pays to have a system for doing that. That is what skills training  using the Two-Dimensional Emotions model is all about.

 

 

If you do want to know happiness, then using the Two-Dimensional Emotions Model is a great way to get started. But you have to make good choices to work with 2DE.

One of the two key factors in Two-Dimensional Emotions

The Two-Dimensional model of Emotions (2DE) strips emotional intelligence back to the most basic elements, and teaches you to work with them. The most basic aspect of this is that you choose to be okay.  It is a shift in mindset that opens up opportunities, connects you with your own power, and makes things possible. All the good stuff is available when you choose to be okay and go for gold. 

But choosing to be okay without having the skill to achieve that is a very big ask. That is why the second dimension in 2DE is the management of your personal engine. Being in control of your biology puts you in control of your thinking and feeling. By developing both a strong mindset, and excellent self-management skills, you can change your situation, one decision at a time, and achieve your goals.  Two-Dimensional Emptions is a simple technical training to help you achieve that.

What is technical training?

Technical training is all about technique. Technology is the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes. Two-Dimensional Emotions is a technical model for understanding and working with thinking and physical energy reactions. The 2DE model is based on the sciences of psychology, biology, and neurology. But unlike therapy or counselling, it is about achieving excellence, rather than focusing on problems. 

Lots of people think of psychology as the study of stress, mental illness and dysfunction. For some people seeing a psychologist is thought to be a sign of weakness or need. They don’t imagine it as an opportunity for learning and growth. But that is what it can be, and 2DE is a system of training designed to achieve that. Training in 2DE is only available from me, Helen M Campbell, but look out for the first book introducing 2DE, which is coming out soon. 

Positive Psychology is focused on using technical understanding and skills to create success and achievement. Technical training is an example of how understanding how we tick can help accelerate our learning and achieve strength of mind and resilience. It can lead to the kind of success we might never have even thought possible.

But you have to be the one to make the choices in 2DE.  

How can I decide to be okay if I am not okay now?

Life is never perfect; it never was and never will be. That does not mean that we can’t be okay anyway, if we set our magnificent minds to it.

The idea that living can be easy and happy – for ever – without any effort on our part – is a childhood myth. Few adults have the luxury to maintain that belief. If we get to experience that happy perfect state once in a while we are lucky. When we do, we should appreciate it, because for many people it rarely lasts for too long.

But life does not have to be perfect for us to be okay. And we do not need to be perfect either. We only need it to be good enough, to be okay enough, and to have enough to keep us going for the time being. The secret to feeling okay when life is less than perfect is to be equipped. And the best equipment is knowledge, thinking ability, and emotional skills.

Learning to be okay is a life skill that everyone needs to develop!

Living in two worlds

Think of a person you know who lives at peace with themselves. However tricky life gets, they tend to cope well, and have constructive ideas to deal with problems. They are resilient self-starters, and can stay confident when things are not going to plan. People like that, who are grounded and at peace, are wonderful to be around. The conviction that they are capable of being successful is the great advantage of being at peace in their inner world.

We live in two worlds all of the time. We are all familiar with the world outside us, and are affected by it every day. But we also live in our inner world. We are affected by that every minute of every day.  A person may look very different on the outside to how they feel on the inside. But how they feel will affect everything they do. Which is why the 2DE model works in the moment to help you think and feel clearly on the inside.

Sadly, lots of people have very little inner peace – and feel uncomfortable looking too closely at their inner world. It can be full of stress, unresolved pain, and long-held anxieties. The last thing they want is to spend any time knocking around in there with their own thoughts. Luckily, there are no end of distractions in the world outside to avoid that.

Modern life is busy and full of demands on our attention. This does not encourage contemplation. It is easy to lose ourselves in entertainments and social media rather than face our own thoughts. Many of us use strategies to avoid paying any attention to our thinking and feeling at all. Some of these are simple distractions that limit our potential for success. Others, like using substances or engaging in high risk behaviours, can distract us from our inner stress at the cost of our health and wellbeing. 

But if you want to be at peace, and live with confidence, then you are going to have to decide to make that happen for yourself. You have to be prepared to stop running, look inside, and do some internal housework!

Making being okay a priority

Two-Dimensional Emotions is all about living at peace with both your inner and outside worlds. It is simple, easy to learn, and puts feeling good as a priority. The first hour of training shows you how to create a calm and peaceful inner experience at will. It shows you a totally new way to understand what emotions are, and gives you the techniques to get them under control. From there, the skills it teaches will show you how to create a comfortable and successful inner world. You learn to be more successful in your relationships with other people, simply by understanding how you function emotionally yourself. It’s a win-win situation for everyone.

But in order to learn to be well, you have to decide that you want to be well. So give it some thought. Would you like to feel peaceful and confident like that?

Who wouldn’t want to be peaceful and confident?

You might think that everyone wants to be peaceful and confident, but realistically, not everyone believes that is possible for them. Nobody has taught them good habits of dealing with their feelings, and the ups and downs of life have made them feel out of control. It can result in people feeling as if they are almost permanently under threat. They live in a bunker mentality that stops them from reaching for better things. People living in the dark doldrums of life like this may need healing from a therapist rather than teaching from a positive psychologist. But others simply need to learn those processes they have yet to experience. Simple techniques for managing feelings, and a strategy for thinking and feeling clearly, can equip them to escape the languishing state they currently live in. 

Choosing to be well and create a positive life

Anyone who is capable of coping from day to day, and can make decisions for themselves, can benefit from improved emotional skills. Years of teaching them have shown me that they are some of the most important skills adults can learn. They improve intelligence, enhance health and happiness, accelerate the ability to learn from experiences, and dramatically improve your ability to succeed in your career. Anyone can benefit from developing their emotional intelligence.

If people decide that they deserve better, and are independent learners, then there is a growing literature to call on. The first book on the Two-Dimensional Model of Emotions will be available for sale online soon, for those who want to quick and easy way to get started. For those who want to start with some skilled help from a teaching psychologist, then training or coaching with me using the 2DE approach is fast, delivers at least four techniques per hour, and can be delivered live over a Zoom call. A Basic Training in either Emotional Health of emotionally intelligent performance, takes only three hours. See the website for details.

But first, in order to do any of that, they need to choose to be well, and make the first step.

Where are you right now, on the journey to learning emotional intelligence? Have you decided to be positively successful yet?

 

Who is Helen M Campbell?

Helen M Campbell, GMBPsS. (MSc (Psych) MAEd (Open) Lifelong Learning) is a psychologist and teacher with more than 30 years professional experience. She has experience teaching academic psychology, freelancing in research and consultation, and coaching and training in personal life skills. She is an author and lecturer in Two-Dimensional Emotions.  

Campbell Education was established to deliver coaching to adults, and professional supervision to educational professionals. Teachers, and other public servants funding their own training (nurses, social workers, police and armed services) are eligible for reduced tariff training. The tariff for current services is available. Two-Dimensional Emotions is a training system designed to accelerate learning in emotional intelligence skills, and is exclusively her intellectual property. No other trainer is currently qualified or licensed to train in 2DE. If in doubt, please check with the office, or book a discovery call to talk with Helen about training or coaching.  

Helen Campbell offers a wide range of courses and sessions to develop emotional intelligence and emotional health skills.  She lives in Northampton in England, and teaches clients around the world. 

 

    

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Everyday English for business, study, or personal life

Coaching in Functional English is intended for people who have finished their school lessons, and want to learn language skills for everyday life. Lots of people want to improve their skills for practical purposes. Understanding letters and forms, writing documents for work or college, and learning to communicate for professional or social purposes. Not everyone wants to take exams in a language to learn to use it.

Coaching in Functional English allows you to set the goals and work with support to achieve the progress you need. You may be a student learning English for study in the UK, or an entrepreneur who finds you need to up your communications game. You and your needs will be the focus for coaching, not an exam syllabus!

Learning to make conversation, understand the culture of language, and feel confident when speaking, these are key skills for coaching. Coping with letters, writing formal and informal responses, and creating well written documents for work or for academic purposes. These are also things you may not learn in exam-based courses.

Coaching with Campbell Education means that you learn what you need, from a natural English speaker, in a way that suits you. You choose the focus, and book the sessions when you want them. No pressure, but support from an experienced teacher to help you coping with the challenges of communicating in the adult world.

Private and confidential

Not everyone is learning a second language. Many English speaking people find their existing skills are not up to scratch. They may need help with writing letters, filling in forms, and creating formal documents. AI is able to turn out answers for lots of people, but AI can be completely mistaken. Learning to write your own essays, reports, letters and social media content is a much better way to communicate well.

Coaching in English with Helen can allow you to fix your current language problems, and develop a style that will work for you. And nobody else needs to know that you have help in doing that. You may just need help in writing a cover letter, making an application, or even sending a letter to someone you love. You find the ideas, and Helen will help you find the language.

I want to learn

If you want to learn with Campbell education, you can book your first session right away. You need to be over 16 and be ready to make a payment with Stripe when you book.

You will be given the opportunity to tell Helen what you want to achieve, and give her an idea of how you feel your language is at the moment.

Coaching costs only £25 per hour at time of publication, so you won’t find anyone to compete on price. Booking quickly is recommended as this is an introductory offer and will be not be around for long! There is also only limited time in her day for English coaching sessions, so book early rather than counting on getting an urgent appointment.. You can book a session here.

If you need to discuss things before you commit, simply book a discovery call, and she will talk it through with you.

Please read the terms and conditions before you book, as making a booking for services requires you to agree to them. 

Please be aware that Campbell Education does not provide essays and documents for academic purposes. Proofreading for accuracy of language does not mean checking accuracy of content. We do not furnish copy for business purposes as a part of Language coaching. Please enquire about rates for copy writing and editing. We provide language coaching, and are not offering legal advice, lifestyle advice, or business coaching.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Nobody aspires to failure as a parent

Nobody sets out to be a bad parent. Even those caught out by pregnancy expect to cope with being a parent with a little guidance and support. But some people do recognise that they did not have the benefit of good parenting as a child. They hope to achieve more for their own children. Today they can improve their personal preparation for being a parent with simple emotional intelligence training.

“Happy is the child with emotionally intelligent parents”

Over the years I have coached people who had childhoods marred by their parents or carers. I have known clients who were determined to remain childless to avoid passing on their DNA or to repeat the mistakes of their parents. Others make as point of keeping their children away from their families. These are tragic and sad conclusions from unfortunate childhoods.

But these are unusual. Most people look forward to being a parent, and are looking forward to doing their very best for their children.

New skills for new challenges

None of us are born with all the skills we need. The genius of human life is that we live in lots of different places, with a variety of living styles, and with unique and exciting hopes and dreams. The reason we can do this successfully is that we have culture.

Culture is a collection of learned values, beliefs, and behaviours. The cultures of our homelands are the strategies that enable us to live successfully in the place we come from.

That’s why cultures can vary so very much. Different locations and climates require widely different skills and habits. The skills to live in the frozen tundra of Asia that might not be sufficient to thrive in a busy city in the tropics.

Cultural differences in being a parent

Culture applies in the home too. Families pass on understanding, beliefs, and habits as well as DNA. This is especially true when it comes to raising children! Being a parent is very different around the world, and even within the same culture, parenting styles differ.

But life has changed in many ways, and people move from place to place. What worked in the past in one place may not prepare a child for a healthy and successful life in the 21st century. This is especially true if the culture comes from a place where values and habits are dramatically different from where they will be living. It can be a source of conflict in families to agree on the correct and appropriate way to raise the children.

What will never change in being a parent

Being a parent may look different in different places, but there are ways in which it never changes.

Being a good parent requires you to bring your A game on days when you are ready to call it a day. It needs endless patience, courage, and self-control. You to listen and endure when everyone you know gives you unsolicited advice, and tries to direct you in their preferred cultures. No wonder the most important parenting skills are personal skills, and nothing accelerates your learning like the steep learning curve of parenthood itself!

Being a parent requires time, energy, and dedication, but what children need most is to be loved – by parents with good personal skills!

How can we improve our chances as parents?

Most people have time to prepare for the arrival of a child. Buying, gathering or making the equipment, preparing the nursery, and reading up on what to do for the best are common behaviours. But how many of them think to prepare themselves to be a parent?

Learn to care for yourself. If you want to give yourself the best chance, then look at improving your self-care skills. Your child will be depending on you. You need to be well for them. Developing these skills will not only help in the future. Being relaxed and happy will help with your pregnancy too. And working on this with a partner is a good way to cement a relationship that is about to change quite a lot!

You need to prioritise. Decide what you cannot sacrifice, and what you can put to one side while you are rearing young children. Making a considered decision is much better than dropping the ball and feeling you have let yourself and others down. Don’t forget to put yourself and your partner (if you have one) on the list too. And remember that your workplace may be delighted to meet your new arrival, but they will not expect you to be less present for your job. Work with your manager to make adjustments that make things easier for you.

Focus on what you need

Try not to get swayed by advertising and influencers. Marketing aims to get you to buy as much as possible in the interests of manufacturers and retailers. It is not about the health, wealth or happiness of your family. Most people with experience know that half the junk you are going to buy will be stuffed in a cupboard in a few months anyway. Don’t be tempted to buy things you won’t really need.

Beware social media. Similarly social media is not about you and your wellbeing. There are many agendas in play online. While there are people who seek to help, there are just as many who are there to help themselves. . And if people feel the need to advise you (including me) listen kindly and feel free to ignore them if you choose to. Your gut will know who to listen to. Try to bear in mind that your child may not appreciate being smeared all over social media when they were very small. Use controlled groups to share images, and remember that people in the know take steps to protect their children’s privacy these days.

Avoid comparing yourself with others. There will always be people who have more than you, (or seem to have). Remember that there are also others for whom your life would seem ideal. Focus on yourselves, and on what works for you. Be smart and remember that your child will only care if they are hungry or comfortable. They won’t care where the cot came from or whether Little Jeremy has a better wardrobe.

Enjoy the experience

Accept and appreciate the experience. Many aspects of being a parent are challenging, and living without sleep is one of them. The first few weeks can feel like an interminable slog. But it is surprising how fast the time goes by. Try to remember to appreciate the opportunity to be a parent, and that it won’t last for ever.

Celebrate the small wins. It has never been easier to keep a record of your progress, and your child’s early years. Keeping photos, making a blog or journal, and recording video and voice notes, record the small wins. Not only does it give you the opportunity to get it off your chest, and protect yourself from stress, it helps you to see how far you have come, especially on the days when it all seems a bit hard.

The most important job in the world

Being a parent is the most important job in the world. No wonder there is so such pressure on parents to do it well. But if you are the parent, then you can choose. You can listen to the advice, but retain the right to have the final say.

If you are scared, uncertain, or feel unable to cope with things, seek help from expert voices or find a therapist. Get yourself well before if possible, or when you recognise problems of necessary. Your children deserve for you to avoid acting out your difficulties on them.

If you just want to some new skills to stick up for yourself, manage your own feelings effectively, and learn to be the emotional expert your child needs, then look out for some preparatory personal training. This is not therapy, it is skills training to brush up you emotional intelligence skills and help you understand the needs of your baby (or tame your teen!)

You are going to face some of life’s greatest challenges. It pays to get yourself match fit before the game begins!

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

“Learning to learn is not a new challenge! Being an independent learner has always been the aim of good education!”

Yes, I agree, but I would argue that it has never been more important than it is now. People who cannot learn and change in response to the ever-moving demands of technology are falling behind in the competitive world of the 21st century.

The demand for constant change

The speed with which technology has changed the world is breath taking. Many of us who are still working remember a time when computers were only to be found in large organisations. The idea that we might be walking around with one in our pocket or on our wrist was the stuff of science fiction. We have been transformed by the internet, and we no sooner learn one new skill than it changes and requires updating or replacing. This is why it matters for us all to learn how to develop knowledge, think ahead, and be ready to relearn as well as we possibly can.

As adults we do not have teachers around to help us. The aim of Campbell Education is to bring leaning to adults to help them: not by teaching them subjects or preparing them for examinations, but showing them how to be a learner!

The Campbell Education website is full of learning resources to help adults to develop their knowledge and skills and become a self-driven super-learner!

Free materials for learning

Campbell Education has been developing the range of free materials, and will soon be offering paid online-courses in addition to the training and coaching already available from me. If you are looking for free materials you can track them down in two places. Links are provided here to help you access them easily.

The Library

Campbell Education is a little bit like a college. In the Library you will find documents and learning materials that talk about a range of aspects of education and learning. Do you want to know what the philosophy of Campbell Education is? You will find it in the essays and in literature there; materials that define and outline particular aspects of learning. These are always in development, so it is worth keeping an eye on the reading lists.

The Learning Zone

Things have changed at Campbell Education, and one of the biggest changes is the movement from a document based enrolment to an automated system. The beauty of the new system is that it allows people to buy goods ands services immediately. That means no more waiting for enrolment numbers and passwords. Anyone can now access the learning Zone and take advantage of the materials there.

There is still a password protected student zone for coaching clients to access support when they wish to, but other than that, all areas are now open!

There are three main rooms:

• Room 1 – Learning to Learn: looking at developing learning and thinking.
• Room 2 – Technical Performance Training and Coaching: developing technical skills for work, sports, or private life.
• Room 3 – The Art of Being Happy and Healthy: developing personal skills for achieving emotional health and wellbeing.

Widening access to learning

As new materials come online they will include a range of paid on-line courses which are also in development. Learners will be able to buy them, online books and physical workbooks through the Learning Zone.

They can already book live training and coaching with me there, and the new system makes this easier than ever before. Whether you are looking for free guidance, a paid course or learning materials, or a live face to face with me online – there will be something there to get you thinking and push the boundaries for you. Why not give it a try?

The only thing you really cannot afford to do is fail to invest time and effort in yourself and your skills. Not just because learning to enjoy learning is one of the most powerful ways to improve the quality and standard of your life there is. The option is to grow redundant before you are ready to hang up your tools.

And you never know – you might quite like it!

Helen Campbell. April 2022.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Lifelong Learning has never been more necessary

Only children believe that learning stops when you leave school. Adults recognise that being able to learn new things and update our skills fast is an essential part of modern life. The only thing that stops when you leave school is easy access to a range of professional people whose purpose in life is to help you learn.

Adult learners have to learn to learn independently. This means knowing how adult learning happens, and being your own teacher.

Learning to learn with Campbell Education

Campbell Education is extending the range of learning materials available for visiting and enrolled learners. Free, open access materials are located in the Library, and enrolled learners will have access to The Learning Zone, where free and paid materials, courses and coaching will be available.

New materials are coming online every week, so keep a note of the name, and make sure you develop into a skilful and efficient independent learner!

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

The Art of Being: I don’t care how you get there – get there if you can!

It can take a lifetime to learn the art of being a whole and happy person. Taking short cuts with education, training and coaching is not cheating – it’s smart!

There are people who love formal leaning, people who don’t, and people who don’t seem to fit in anywhere. Fortunately we learn the Art of Being a human being in the University of Life, but there are other places to learn too. And sometimes the most unusual lessons can be learned in the most unusual places. When it comes to being human, the university janitor can be as informed as the chancellor! There is no limit to the learning, so there is no limit to who can be teacher either.

Help and advice in growing up

Growing up is not just the responsibility of the young. Life’s harder lessons come much later in life – some of the hardest of all right near the end. We continue to develop knowledge, understanding and skills while we still have the ability. Growing up is the process of learning the Art of Being, and lasts from cradle to grave. Choosing who to listen to is one of the big challenges we face.

As children the world is full of people telling us what to do, how to do it, and (hopefully) why to do it. They also let us know whether we have achieved the goal! As we become more independent we select our own influencers. Celebrities, peers and significant others may be more alluring than listening to Grandma. She often seems out of touch and doesn’t really understand.

Of course Grandmas usually understand all too well. As we mature we see that the confident dismissals of youth come from blissful ignorance. Each of us goes through this process of revelation. Each must gain this understanding to benefit from the experiences of others. The alternative is to learn everything the hard way! Every event is an opportunity for learning. Allowing others to share their hard-won knowledge with us is a privilege we should be grateful for.

Learning, unlearning and relearning the things we need to know

Humans have succeeded in spreading across the globe by developing adaptable cultures. You can find spiders everywhere in the world too, but only those suited to particular environments. Humans have learned to live everywhere – even in space – by learning to adapt and teach one another to survive.

Human evolution has therefore come to include cultural evolution. We change our culture (our acquired habits of living) at breakneck speed compared to the slow pace of biological evolution. Our ability to change and adapt (which we know as intelligence) marks us as different from other animals. We don’t know what it is like to be them, but they probably never think about what it is like to be us. They are not wired to do so the way we are – because we humans are learning machines!

Having said that – I don’t think my cats ever worried too much about their credit rating or their online profile. There are probably advantages to keeping it simple. You won’t find Oliver worrying about his tax return.

The Art of Being involves finding a balance

We can all appreciate spending time just being human. For some of us that means family time or hanging out with friends, while others enjoy games or more solitary hobbies. Achieving a healthy pattern of exercising, eating and sleeping is a vital part of this too. Downtime, playtime, or quality time, however you conceive of it, is important for our health and wellbeing. It allows us to rest and process the world in alternative ways, and to recharge our creative batteries. (If you want some pointers on that – just ask Oliver – he could teach us humans a thing or two!)

But not everyone is good at achieving downtime. Some people are so driven they can only switch off if they leave home and go on holiday -and they won’t be leaving their phone behind. In the modern world your boss could still call you if you were in orbit around the planet! Not good for health or wellbeing. Learning to set boundaries to protect your you-time is an essential skill to learn.

The Art if Being With Intent

Other people can struggle to step up to the mark. At some point we all need to put our toys aside and apply ourselves with intent. There is thinking to do, things to learn, goals to set and plans to make. Work must be done and money earned if we are to develop into productive and satisfied members of society. And people are depending on us to do this – cat biscuits don’t grow on trees you know!

We may like the idea of living the good life, with only pleasure and fun in mind, but the reality is far from satisfactory. A life lived in that way is boring. Having nothing meaningful to do is soul destroying. Real satisfaction comes from having a dream and making it real, not from consuming products created by people more successful than ourselves.

The Humane Being – us at our absolute best!

In everyone’s life there are times when we face particularly difficult challenges. We have to learn to step up again; to find our very best self. We may be required to make real sacrifices for very good reasons. We all have to learn to put our own desires – and even our health and safety at times – in the service of other people. This often demands us to mange ourselves with great emotional restraint or self discipline. While situations like this can be formative in developing our mature characters, don’t underestimate the value in learning some really useful skills in advance!

I often compare managing emotions to managing a water hose. Anyone can cope with an empty hose, when it is full of water it can be heavy and hard to carry, but once you let it open under pressure it can be like fighting a wild animal! I strongly recommend learning emotional skills in advance of needing them.

Firstly you don’t want to be learning to use a hose when your house is on fire, you need to have those skills immediately! Secondly, learning under controlled conditions is much easier and more precise than learning in extreme conditions. Thirdly, trying to live happily while dragging a hose full of heavy emotions behind you is a waste. Sort out your baggage and get on with enjoying life. Prevention is always better than cure!

Finding a balance is always the key

Whatever stage you are in on your life journey, today will bring you something new; the worst thing you can do is to fail to notice it. Intelligence is the ability to recognise what is going on and to find ways to deal with it successfully and sustainably, so wandering through life without noticing things is not the best way to go.

That doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to do something about what you notice beyond thinking about it a little and considering what the implications might be. If you can do that sitting next to the pool with a Mai Tai so much the better, but you may need to apply yourself with more intention.

If the occurrence is a significant one you may well need to do some research, find out why it happened and what it means for you and take steps to control the situation. You may need to adapt to accommodate or remove the situation from your future. One thing is sure – ignoring a real problem never made it go away – but it often gives it time to establish itself comfortably!

The Art of Being Brave

If it is a serious threat you may need to put your own concerns aside. This is where we put on our big boy trousers and and take out our more responsible and socially aware priorities. Your plans may come second to the need to contain and resolve a threat to others as well as yourself. In fact as a responsible person, your own wellbeing can often be pushed aside. This is why learning to be well is so important. When people are relying on you – you have a duty to take care of yourself. You need to be strong enough to bear that responsibility. Good luck if you are dealing with that kind of challenge today; be your most humane and courageous self!

Invest in your own Art of Being

A life lived without understanding and intention can be something of a wasteland. If you can manage your feelings and think well – then life is a gift!

Why not spend some time today thinking about how you are spending your time? Are you Being with your best intention? Are you spending a little too much – or too little time – just being human? Or are you coping with challenges that are testing you and forcing you to adapt to survive? Whatever you discover, remember that in the art of being you are creating your own Self. If you want to live a life that brings you satisfaction and joy, you must invest time, effort and thought in making it that way.

If you want to get to appreciate life as a gift (while you are still young enough to enjoy it) be prepared to learn from others. They may just know the answers to your problems already. If you don’t invest your time in sharing with them, then they cannot invest their wisdom in you!

Visit the Campbell Education Library for free learning materials and modular courses in aspects of growth and self development in The Art of Being.

You can also find relevant content in my profile on LinkedIn.

Images courtesy of Pixabay.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Becoming your best self has become a goal for lots of people; social media is full of people who seem to be doing just that. But do photos, videos and posts really reflect our true selves? Is putting on a good camera face, and claiming social and economic success, a sign that we are winning? When the ring light goes off, are we confident that we are really living the dream?

Being your best self – winning at life!

Confidence is something we create inside ourselves. It is difficult to describe, but when we have it everyone can tell. Confidence is a feeling of positivity that radiates from us. It is quiet and calm and attractive in all kinds of ways to all kinds of people. Confidence creates an invisible halo of success around us that helps us hold our own in social situations. We all enjoy the feeling of confidence. It comes from knowing that we are good enough, and trusting that we can cope with whatever life might throw at us.

That feeling comes from knowing who we are, valuing ourselves, and trusting ourselves and our skills. Can anyone who cannot do those things really be said to be winning at life?

Fake it until you make it – are you winning yet?

Most people fake it to some extent, I have myself, but I can assure you that faking it is not confidence. And faking it doesn’t get you a place on the winners podium. People do manage to get by from day to day with a façade of success. But they will not have the resources to cope with challenges and problems when they come. If you want to grow strong and confident, you have to do it from the inside. The sooner you start, the sooner you will start to feel better about things.

Know yourself – how else can you be your best self?

First and foremost you need to be honest with yourself, and get to know yourself. For some people that means spending a great deal of time alone, or travelling the world, or going on a retreat. For others it means finding someone to help you ask yourself the right questions. Investing in coaching may seem like a waste of money for some, but it is probably cheaper than travelling the world or going on a retreat, and can take much less time! Spending a great deal of time alone with your thoughts is the cheapest option, but it may not get you very far. There are plenty of self help books to provide you with ideas if you choose to try this approach.

Know your objective – emotions are made on the inside

One thing I can assure you is that achieving any kind of success will depend on learning to manage your emotions. People who are able to deal with their emotional reactions can cope more effectively. Their emotional control gives them more control of the situation. Things don’t phase them too much, and they understand how people’s feelings need to be taken into account. They value emotional wellbeing, and invest in making sure that things are done with other people’s feelings in mind. Emotionally intelligent people are less likely to do things that backfire or hurt people’s feelings by mistake. Emotional intelligence skills are essential life skills.

Getting emotions wrong is painful for everybody

People who do not learn emotional control are vulnerable. They walk through life like intemperate children, and are buffeted by every wind that blows. They may believe they have confidence, but it is probably because they don’t understand the true situation. Confidence is an emotional state. It is based on our assessment of the environment and our ability to manage it successfully. If a person with no emotional skills believes in their ability to cope it is a form naivete or self deceit. Their façade of confidence is likely to crumble when trouble calls.

Most difficult of all, people with limited emotional skills are hard to be around. They may use all kinds of difficult behaviours to hide from their feelings. Many drown them out with substances that lead to problems, while telling themselves they are having fun. Like over-grown children, people with limited emotional intelligence cannot be trusted with responsibility or cope with difficulties, and they can easily wound people around them. Choose your company with care.

Learning emotional control is everyone’s responsibility

People learn emotional control in lots of ways. Our first experiences come from our families. We develop understanding and skills from friends, teachers and other significant people in our lives. We also learn from literature, the arts, films and TV; learning from our own experiences, and from those of others. Our learning journey lasts for as long as life allows.

One of the fastest ways to learn specific skills is in training or coaching. A coach knows what you need to know, and how to teach it to you easily and quickly. You could spend a lifetime experiencing things without coming across some of the simple and vitally important skills that make life manageable and enjoyable. Emotional Intelligence training and coaching is now available from a growing number of suppliers, but check them out before you invest. Good intentions do not guarantee good outcomes, and you are best using a professional with qualifications and professional accreditation.

Confidence is not a ring light

Confidence is a light that shines from the inside. It shines when you realising that you are good enough, and trusting yourself. Being your best self can be as simple as knowing and accepting yourself, and believing that you are as good as anyone else, and can cope with things just as well as they can.

It doesn’t really matter what other people think about you, it matters what you think about yourself.

By Helen Campbell

Visit the Library at Campbell Education for more information on emotional intelligence and emotional skills training and coaching.

Photo by Fábio Lucas from Pexels

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.

Help! I think I am being bullied!

Children believe that bullying ends when you leave school – but adults know better. We all know people who have been bullied. Many of us have experienced adult bullying ourselves. Unlike school, adults rarely have a trusted teacher to turn to for help.

It can be a shock when it starts to happen to us! It takes a while to realise that we have been picked out for special treatment by a bully. Could you tell if it was happening to you?

Anyone can be a victim of bullying

Bullying behaviour is complicated and infinitely variable. Like the Hydra, you can cut off one opportunity for bullying, just to see two new ones develop! Many companies feel powerless to intervene, so employees with very real complaints find themselves coping alone. Few people work in an environment where bullying is tackled before things get out of hand.

People likely to be targeted by bullies are the ones least equipped to deal with it. Bullies are experts at identifying who can stick up for themselves, who can be undermined, and who can be dominated. Many factors cause and maintain bullying, but the one that really matters is how potential victims react to challenge. Bullying can be physical, mental or practical, but essentially it works by causing emotional damage. Bullies are emotional terrorists. They gain control through the domination of vulnerable individuals. People who cope with challenge well are less likely to be bullied.

It’s not the fault of the victim!

If you find yourself being bullied, it is not your fault!

People who blame victims for being ‘oversensitive’ and ‘making a fuss’ are wrong. Laying blame is pointless and unhelpful. Support and assistance in dealing with the problem are what is needed. Victims require reassurance and help. An intervention with the bully is the only real and lasting solution. Realistically this is rare, and people being victimised find themselves coping alone.

Surviving Bullying – a problem focused coaching course

The Surviving Bullying course was developed for individuals in this situation . The course quickly develops understanding, skills and strategies to deal with the problem. Three hours of face to face coaching withHelen Campbell, an experienced emotional intelligence coach, can really help. Clients learn a range of skills that underpin emotional intelligence. These skills give them the ability to take back control. They will work with Helen to develop strategies to stay safe, limit damage, care for themselves and make changes that put them in a better situation.

Clients are in a better position afterwards than they were before the event. They are motivated to find a better role, or on occasion, the way they dealt with the issue was recognised and rewarded by their employers. Sadly they usually move away from their current role, but most clients come out of the process stronger, wiser, and with the skills to ensure that this never happens to them again.

Accessing help

Information on Surviving Bullying and application forms are available here on the Campbell Education website. The cost of the three hour coaching package at the time of publication is £300 (May 2021). Clients must be accepted and registered prior to booking. Applicants may have to wait, but bullying applicants take priority and urgent cases should contact the office for guidance.

Emotional Intelligence and emotional coping skills – the secret to resisting bullying

Bullies are not emotionally intelligent – but they do have the animal ability to identify emotional pain. They react with visceral satisfaction when they cause it. Bullies use the threat of victimisation to control the people around them. Observers are often too scared of being the next victim to object. The more ingrained the pattern becomes, the worse the abuses become. Nobody deserves to be exposed to this and it does not generate profitable business.

Bullies are not concerned by the negative consequences of what they do. If you want to change their behaviour, you have to change the outcomes. You need to be more emotionally intelligent than they are.

Make a difference

Bullying can affect us all, even if we are not the one in the firing line. If you want to learn, the Surviving Bullying course can help you too. It teaches a range of skills that can transform your understanding of the emotional world. These are the foundations of emotional intelligence; the difference between success and failure in many areas of life. Having them in your toolkit can only help in your working career and in your private life. With your sophisticated understanding of bullying, anyone who tries to make you a victim will be disappointed.

Anyone considering a career in management will gain from undertaking coaching. Surviving Bullying can be used for CPD and funded by an employer without fear of breaching your privacy; all coaching is confidential.

The price of failure

Deep, personal wounds caused by bullying last a lifetime, but personal suffering is not the only damage done. Bullying at work shuts down individuals who are victimised. It can also affect an entire department. People living with bullying struggle to think, feel, perceive and understand. Their learning, problem solving and creativity are impaired. Social cohesion and team working are damaged. Disaffection, loss of trust and disengagement soon follow. Unresolved bullying is one of the most common reasons that people leave their jobs. It can lead to serious mental health issues and ultimately, to suicide. There are no winners, but the cost of failure is simply too high to ignore.

©  Campbell Education, training and coaching products and all contents are the intellectual property of Helen Campbell. All rights reserved.